Dear 20 year old me,
Oh how I missed you so! Yes, that is a super cheesy start line, but really I miss you a lot. The 20yo me was filled with passion and energy, filled with gusto and drive and all I ever wanted was to climb those ladders up up up to as high as I could. There was no plan to find a husband, no plan to start a home, no plan for a baby, at least not back then when I was 20. If I could turn back time, things may not be how it is now.
If I could turn back time, I would have not worried about whether or not I could afford to get married. Throwing a wedding dinner and keeping things simple really didn’t cost me THAT much of money. Having a husband is so much less “stressful” than having a boyfriend. At least you don’t have to worry about being your best dressed self every time you go out. You can laugh off about farting out loud in the middle of a meal and pretending that a frog just hopped by. And just because the 20yo me wouldn’t have sufficient money to buy a HDB flat then, the married 20yo me would have stayed with my parents and then have more support when comes to my next point.
If I could turn back time, I would have settled down and given birth to at least two babies before I turned 25. Having babies is really not that big a deal, and really not that painful nor scary as I had imagined it to be. I would have more energy to spend time at work and with my babies after work, unlike the 30yo me now, getting older and getting tired too easily. The 20+yo me wouldn’t have mind not getting enough sleep because the babies need my attention. The 20+yo me would have done less clubbing and other leisure activity (which would indirectly helped saved more money for the 30+yo me now) if I had a family and adorable babies to go home to everyday.
If I had done what I did in the 30+yo me few years earlier, I would have more time and energy to build on my career now because if I had my kids before I turned 25, by time I turned 30, my kids would have been old enough to take care of themselves and get things done on their own. I would have been able to balance my life better being the 30+yo me with grown up kids.
If I really have a chance to talk to the 20 year old me now, I would tell her to start a family as soon as she can. I would tell her how much more energy and time the younger me would have for the kids and how much more focus on building the career it would have been after the kids are older. I would tell the 20yo me that money shouldn’t be the factor that’s stopping me from getting married and starting a family. I would tell the younger me that no matter how much or little the combine income is then, I would have survived still even with a family to feed. I would tell the 20yo me that there isn’t going to be the right time to get married nor the right time to have kids. You just do it! And things will eventually turn out well because I am a woman who can and will survive all challenges that comes my way.
Dear 20 year old me, if you ever see this post, please just go ahead and do it. The career ladder is better climbed with a family supporting you. Nothing gets you more motivated than the smile and laughter you will receive from your kids. Just look at how beautiful your kids may be…
From the 30+yo me