I’ve something to say… but I didn’t know how

If you were asked to dedicate one message to one person, who will you dedicate it to? Most people would say thank you to their family member, spouse, children etc, and I thought it would be the same for me too. But when I stepped into the #OnePersonOneThing “confession box” yesterday outside Ocean Financial Centre, I recorded a message for someone else instead.

This year has been quite a roller coaster ride for me – a stressful period when my grandma had to undergo a major operation, along with the influx of new responsibilities at work, a terrible three and emotional five in the family, and my struggle to achieve work-life-balance. Thankfully, everything kinda went pretty well. I’m truly blessed to be able to do a lot of things this year because of the people in my life.

Aiyah, easy lah, just say “I Love You” and “Thank You” to my family in the booth and I’m out in a jiffy. But when I’m alone in the recording booth, the past 11 months flashed past my mind and I recorded a message for my dedicated co-workers and partners-in-crime.

Without them, I wouldn’t have been able to accomplish all that I did for the company. And because of their dedication and hardwork, I was able to let go and spend time with my family and do things I need to do whenever, wherever. Because of the different personalities, experiences and mindset, we were able to push one another forward, and learn from one another.

They have seen the worst side of me (well almost lah!) and also seen the best where we win projects and achieve what we were set out to do. Of course, there are setbacks and failed pitches, but we learn and we improve along the way. This is really just the beginning and the road ahead is much longer, wider, spiral and dangerous too for some, but together we will travel this journey and make our mark in what we do.

My team. My support. My friends. #weareamco #iamclaudialim #trehaus #alvinologymedia

A photo posted by Claudia (@claudia10) on

Thank you my comrades Soon Koon and Caren for believing in our vision, our goal, our dreams. Together with Alvin and the rest of us in AM Collective, we will be doing lots more greater things together! I’m not an expressive woman lah, and you know I am really bad at all these mushy and ermmm… emo talks and all, but I hope this short video I did will be the first baby step for me to start sharing about my gratitude and opening up more with the team.

Thank you for always being there, supporting everyone onboard and making sure things are done! Here’s the unglam video of myself for your ermm… LOL moment.

Do you have something you’ve always wanted to say but never knew how? Here’s your chance to do it without having to ermm… face the person directly or type out in words (because some things meant more when spoken lah), head down to #OnePersonOneThing booth outside Ocean Financial Centre and get those words out of you. You can take and retake as many times as you want and send the message to that special someone in private or share it out openly on Facebook for everyone to see.

#OnePersonOneThing booth will be at Ocean Financial Centre, 10 Collyer Quay, Singapore 049315 till 9 Dec 2016, from 10am to 7pm. If you can’t find the building, lookout for this giant Christmas Tree, the booth is just right next to it!

This post is written in collaboration with Prudential Singapore, all opinions, experiences and thoughts are author’s own. For more information about this please visit Prudential Relationship Index.

Thinking about divorce? You are not alone.

Man and woman meet. Man and woman fall in love. They get married and start a family. Life is challenging, throwing too many curve balls into their already stressed up life. Too much to handle and the relationship drifts. Divorce is brought to the table and all hell breaks loose.

It is not uncommon, in fact there are too many friends in my life now who are either going through divorce, or are divorced. Based on a recent survey by Prudential, every week 1 out of 4 married couples in Singapore have given serious thoughts on getting divorced! This did float in my head too, at least once.

No one marriage is perfect. Flaws are present to challenge the two, to help us bond and hopefully bring relationships closer after healing one flaw at a time. Knowing what the other party wants and needs is important.

PRI on_divorce

I am no relationship master nor one who knows what is right or not right to do when stuck in a situation with my loved one. But thanks to the survey conducted with 500 individuals in Singapore, aged between 25 and 55 years of age (that’s our age group) with household incomes of at least S$4,000 per month (yup that’s us alright!), and me getting first hand advice from the experts, experienced counselors and family life advocates, I am in a better position (I think) cos I know now what may work and help improve the relationships I’m having with my loved ones and co-workers.

Laughter is still the best medicine

Laughter is a key aspect of strong relationships in Singapore, especially for women. 69% say “making me laugh” is important, compared with just 54% of men. However, our local men seem not to be as funny as the ladies had hoped for. Or perhaps we women are just harder to get tickled; which in my case is quite true. Time spent working and pressure from clients give me little time to rest, more so than to laugh. If I do laugh, it’s because of some silly things my little girls did and not cos of the man.

Men needs more affection than women

Both close bonding and expressions of love are far more important for men than women in Singapore. The study shows that over half (60%) of men value close bonding as one of the most important aspects in a partnership, compared with just 40% of women. Well this is true, at least in my opinion. Women generally carry much more responsibility and duties as compared to men, especially when they’re married and with kids. Where got time and energy to think about getting close and be affectionate, when all I want to do once everything is settled for the night is to knock out flat in bed!

More men than women also want their ideal partner to express their love for them: 40% of men compared with only 28% of women. Ahem! Ok, this I think is due to the different languages of love. Personally I would rather my man just do the damn chores automatically so that I can use my energy on other more important tasks and when he does that, I know he loves me. I don’t need him to say those three words everyday, but I guess I may have to start doing more of the saying “I love you” thingy so that he will feel my love too.

My husband and I have been together for more than … wait I lost count! Was it 12 or 13 years now? Hmmm or was it 14? See, I’m not the romantic sort who keeps track of anniversaries and stuff like these. Though we have been together for more than a decade, there are still unspoken words, unshared experiences, little known facts and in-depth understanding of what each of us want and need. To us, this is a journey of discovery, one that will take us a lifetime to unfold together. We may not fight as much as some, but we often do the cha-cha dance, giving each other space to reflect and put oneself in the other party’s shoes. After a while, a hug or a poke in the ribs, things will be back to normal. Well, our normal.

I am not one who likes to attend forum discussions because I feel that they can be a waste of time. But after the first session where I learned about the Prudential Relationship Index, I am very intrigued to learn more and hear from the experienced husbands, wives, fathers and mothers.

[box]Come 20th October 2016, Thursday, there will be a panel discussion with some of the veterans in the area of relationship, work and life. You can tune in to the discussion and be part of it too wherever you are. The discussion will be broadcasted live on Facebook at Prudential Singapore page. It will start at 6.30pm sharp, so be ready with your tablet, mobile or computer and join in the discussion over at Facebook. Gather your family too if you can, because Gurmit will be the host for the evening, and he will be doing a special stand-up comedy before the discussion. [/box]

If you want to find out more about the findings from the survey conducted by Prudential Singapore, hop over to https://www.prudentialrelationshipindex.com/sg/.

This post is written in collaboration with Prudential Singapore, all opinions, experiences and thoughts are author’s own. Facts and findings shared are based on the results from Prudential Relationship Index.